Facts about Alcoholism

Facts About Alcohol Abuse

There is a difference between heavy drinking and alcoholism. Just because
someone is a heavy drinker, it does not mean he/she is an alcoholic. It is important to
remember, however, that even heavy drinking significantly increases the risk of health
problems and health care costs.

How can you tell if you might be an alcoholic?

It’s easy enough to say that a person might be an alcoholic if that person’s
drinking continues to interfere with any part of his or her life. But what does that mean
in terms of daily living experiences?

The following questionnaire can help define these “daily living experiences”. The
more questions you answer “yes” to, the greater the chance that you are having
problems with your alcohol use.

How much do you drink?

• Do you drink more now than in the past?

• Do your friends drink less than you?

• Do you drink until the bottle is empty?

How important is drinking to you?

Control

Genetic, Family

• Have your parents ever had trouble with alcohol?

• Do any of your brothers or sisters have trouble with alcohol?

• Do any of your children have trouble with alcohol?

Why do you drink?

• Do you drink to build up your self confidence?

• Do you drink because you are shy?

• Do you drink before a date?

• Do you think you get along better, generally, when you drink?

• Do you drink to escape from worries and responsibilities?

• Does drinking give you a sense of power?

How do you feel about your drinking?

• Do you have a low self image, self esteem?

• Do you feel guilty about your drinking?

• Do you think you maybe have a drinking problem?

• Ever feel a need to cut down on your drinking?

• Does drinking affect your reputation, and if so, do you care?

How do other people feel about your drinking?

• Do other people worry about your drinking?

• Are others embarrassed about your drinking?

• Do others have to lie about your drinking?

• Do others have to make excuses about your drinking, such as to your employer?

• Has anyone ever talked to you about your drinking?

• Are your children afraid of you when you have been drinking?

• Do your friends and relatives think you are a normal drinker?

• Have you ever lost friends because of your drinking?

• Has anyone ever sought help for you because of your drinking?

• Do your friends and family feel unpleasant around you around the holidays because of your drinking?

Denial

• Do you refuse to discuss whether you may have a problem with your drinking?

• Do you turn off to lectures or discussions about drinking problems?

• Do you make excuses for your drinking behavior?

• Do you lie about your drinking, try to cover it up?

• Do you break promises to stop drinking?

• Do you deny there is a problem, because you drink only beer?

Facts about Co-dependency

What Is Co-dependency?

CO-DEPENDENCY occurs when a person lives with or is very close to someone
with a substance abuse problem. It can happen when a significant other is chronically
ill, gambles too much, or has another compulsive disorder or mental illness. Co-
dependency can be just as crippling as the chronic illness or compulsive disorder. It is
a lifestyle geared around the other person’s illness.

Typical Characteristics of a Co-dependent

Answer yes or no to the following items:

• I assume responsibility for others’ feelings and/or behaviors.

• I feel overly responsible for others’ feelings and/or behaviors.

• I have difficulty in identifying feelings - Am I angry? Lonely? Sad?

• I have difficulty expressing feelings.

• I tend to fear and/or worry how others may respond to my feelings.

• I have difficulty forming and/or maintaining close relationships.

• I am afraid of being hurt and/or rejected by others.

• I am a perfectionist and place too many expectations on myself and others.

• I have difficulty making decisions.

• I tend to minimize, alter, or even deny the truth about how I feel.

• Other people’s actions and attitudes tend to determine how I respond/react.

• My fear of others’ feelings (i.e., anger) determines what I say and do.

• I question or ignore my own values to connect with significant others.

• I value others’ opinions more than my own.

• My self-esteem is bolstered by outer/other influences.

• I cannot acknowledge good things about myself.

• My serenity and mental attention is determined by how others are feeling and/or behaving.

•I tend to judge everything I do, think, or say, harshly - by someone else’s standards - nothing is done, said, or thought “good enough”.

• I do not know or believe that being vulnerable and asking for help is both okay and normal.

• I do not know that it is okay to talk about problems outside the family; or that feelings just are - and it is better to share them than to deny, minimize, or justify them.

• I tend to put other people’s wants and needs before my own.

• I have to be “needed” in order to have a relationship with others.

When Your Love One Is Addicted; For Friends and Family

What Is An Addiction?

An addiction is an unhealthy dependence to a substance or an activity. When
people continue excessive use of alcohol or other mood altering substances, in spite of
damage to health, relationships, finances, etc., we say that person is addicted.

What Are Some Examples Of Addiction?

People can become addicted not only to alcohol or drugs, but also to such
activities as gambling, eating, sex and viewing pornography. The same may be said of
those who have a pattern of excessive exercise, spending, and even religion.

What Are Some Of The Warning Signs?

While some symptoms of addiction are physical, people with alcohol and other
dependency issues experience emotional and social symptoms. They may isolate
themselves, they may become irritable, their personalities may change, they may face
legal or financial problems, and they may become aggressive or violent. Often, they
are hurting their families or friends, jeopardizing their jobs, or harming themselves.
Remember, its not how much your partner or friend engages in the addictive behavior,
but the effect it has on you. That is the focus of this brochure.

What Can I Say To Get Them To Stop?

We cannot make them stop. We do not have the power to determine whether
someone will seek help or even acknowledge that they have a problem. People are
pretty powerless to change others. There are three C’s to remember about a family
member or friend’s addiction:

I didn’t Cause it
I can’t Control it
I can’t Cure it

If you feel comfortable and safe with the addicted person, you may want to let
them know that you are concerned. However, it is wise to avoid a confrontational style.
Avoid words like “alcoholic” and “addict”, avoid discussing painful events from the past,
and if you notice the person becoming agitated or defensive, just let it go!

What If They Are Not Ready For Help?

Denying that there is a problem is one of the symptoms of the disease addiction.
On the other hand, they may be fully aware of the problem but too scared to accept
help. Whatever happens, you can feel better knowing that you took some steps to
approach them.

What Can I Do For Myself?

You need to take care of yourself. Self-care is an attitude of mutual respect. It
means learning to live responsibly. It means allowing others to live their lives as they
choose, as long as they do not interfere with our decisions to live as we choose.

What Are Some Other Options?

We may seek the help of a professional counselor, therapist, or clergy. We can attend Al-anon meetings or ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholic) meetings. We need to:

• stop the shoulds

• think independently

• refuse to accept unearned guilt

• learn about ourselves through feeling

We need to seek professional help if:

• we plan to confront the addicted person

• we are depressed

• we can’t seem to get “unstuck” by ourselves

• we have been a victim of physical or sexual abuse

REMEMBER

Recovering persons tell us it was very important to have family and friends keep
loving them. Addictions are powerful, complex disorders. It took a long time for the
person to develop the disorder to this degree. Generally, the longer the person has
been involved in the addition, the longer it takes before they are strong and well again.
This makes your self-care very important. Just as the life of the addicted person is
valuable, so is yours.

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