Parenting Problems

A parent may be confronted with many issues while raising a child:

• discipline issues
• being a single parent
• teen pregnancy
• drug and alcohol use
• divorce adjustments
• stress (child and parent)
• arrival of a new baby
• and potentially, many more

These issues can be overwhelming, especially since parents want their children
to be happy and successful. Fortunately, parents have a host of coping and teaching
techniques available to them.

Two Problem Areas For Which Parents Frequently Seek Help are Stress and Discipline

Why Stress?

Because stress is built into family life:

1. The demands of career, children, and personal needs are often at odds.

2. Change - which all families experience - is a big source of stress.

 

Some Causes of Stress in the Family:

These Issues are common to many households:

1. Poor understanding/communication with children

2. Lack of support

3. The myth of the “perfect family”

4. Low self-esteem

5. Other sources of stress - buildup on everyday problems

Why Discipline - What is It?

Discipline means teaching and training. Its part of your job as a parent. The goals of discipline are:

1. To encourage appropriate behavior

2. To help prevent problems from arising as the child grows older

3. To instill a lifelong sense of self-discipline

Why is Discipline Important?

Because it’s the key to the way your child will behave!

Discipline helps children:

1. Develop self-control

2. Express emotions

3. Respect other’s rights

4. Build self-esteem

5. Become self-reliant

6. Develop orderliness

If you need help with stress or discipline or any other issue, don’t be afraid to ask
for it! It does not mean you’re “giving up” - it means you want to do what’s right for your
family!

Potential Problem Indicators

Indicate with a yes or no whether you and/or your partner agree or disagree:

• I often overlook my child’s behavior with “they will grow out of it.”
• I sometimes make excuses to school officials to keep my child out of
trouble - like saying she was sick when she skipped school.
• I often do chores that are clearly our child’s responsibility.
• I often feel confused about what it means to be a parent.
• Even when I strongly suspect my child may be using alcohol/drugs or in
other trouble, I tend to discount my fears, thinking I may be making
something out of nothing.
• I tend to think that if my child should get serious problems, its probably
because I have failed as a parent.
• I often seriously disagree with my partner about how to raise our child.
• I use alcohol or other drugs to “wind down” from stressful events or days.
• I do not take occasional time-outs for myself and my partner because we do not have enough time.
• I do not understand my children and find it difficult to communicate with them.
• I feel stressed or depressed frequently and don’t know how to cope with it.
• I do not have an available support network (family, friends, community resources) to help with the kids and myself.
• I have many demands (careers, illness, money problems, etc) and little time or energy for family pressures.

If you’re like most parents, you probably answered yes to at least some of those
statements. But too many “YES” answers may be a sign that you need some positive
alternatives for help.

What Does Good Parenting Include?

• Showing kids love, concern, and respect at all times.
• Giving kids a safe place to live and play.
• Listening to what your kids are saying.
• Helping your kids express all their feelings appropriately.
• Giving your kids appropriate choices whenever possible.
• Having reasonable rules that are understood by all.
• Being responsible and teaching your kids to be responsible.
• Spending time together with your kids.
• Setting an example by what you say and do.
• Asking for help when you need it.

Set a Good Example

Children learn from watching others.

• If you want them to be on time, you should be too.
• If you want them to pick up their clothes, you should pick up your own.
• If you want them to speak softly, so should you.
• If you want them to be polite, you should use “please”, “thank you”, etc., when talking with your children and others.
• If you want them to stick to limits, you should set your own limits and stick to them.


“You can’t watch your children 24 hours a day. All you can do, from the very
beginning, is try to build a relationship with the child that will form a protective barrier
between him or her and [any] kind of menace. Maybe in some cases your best efforts
will fail, but at least you will know that you tried.”

- Art Linkletter

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