Health and Wellness in the Workplace

From Your EAP - Employee Assistance Program Fall 2003

Lend an Ear with Good Listening Skills

Listening is not as easy as you might think. It takes concentration, ability to focus, and most of all the ability to let go of your own thoughts to really listen to another person.

Try some of the ideas listed below and see what happens.

Be aware that you need to listen. Make eye contact.

Don’t interrupt.

Try not to jump to conclusions. Keep an open mind. Don’t judge.

Don’t look for “right” or “wrong”. Just listen.

When responding, let the person know you have heard him or her by restating what was said. Say something like It sounds like you...... Or You are saying that you.........

Be aware of non-verbal signs and clues - yours and the person you are listening to. These include tone of voice, shrugging your shoulders, crossing arms or legs, nodding, eye contact or looking away, facial expressions (smile, frown, shock, disgust, tears, surprise, rolling eyes, etc.), and mannerisms such as fiddling with papers, tapping fingers, jiggling a leg, etc.).

Remember that feelings are neither right or wrong.

Watch out for blocks to listening such as mind reading, rehearsing, filtering, judging,
daydreaming, advising, changing the subject, fixing, being right, etc.

Focus on the main points.

Ask questions if you don’t understand.

Listen without planning what you are going to say next.

Adapted from: Listening Skills, About.com